Anupama Parameswaran Opens Up About Her Two-Year Struggle : “I Went Through Narcissistic Abuse”

Anupama Parameswaran has opened up about a deeply personal chapter of her life, describing what she says was a two-year relationship marked by physical and emotional suffering, control and what she characterised as narcissistic abuse.

Speaking to Dhanya Varma, the actress reflected on the experience for the first time publicly and explained that an Instagram post she previously shared was not an impulsive reaction to her breakup, but something that came after a long period of pain and healing.

“There are a lot of things behind that post. It was the result of two years of physical and emotional suffering and breakdown. I went through narcissistic abuse for the past two years,” she said.

Anupama did not name the person she was referring to. Instead, she focused on what she said she experienced during the relationship and how it affected her emotionally, personally and professionally.

According to the actress, the changes in her behaviour were noticed by people close to her, including her family, friends and staff. She said she had gradually become more withdrawn, with those around her recognising that the relationship was not having a positive impact on her.

Reflecting on her earlier Instagram post, Anupama explained that she had waited until she felt ready to speak about what she had gone through.

She said there was a significant period of healing behind that post and that she did not want to speak publicly until she had processed her experience. For Anupama, one of the most difficult aspects was the gradual nature of what she described as narcissistic abuse.

She explained that, in her view, such behaviour does not necessarily become obvious at the beginning of a relationship. Instead, she described a pattern involving affection, validation, control and repeated emotional shifts.

The actress used the characters from the Tamil film Anniyan to describe what she felt was the changing nature of her former partner's behaviour. She compared the affectionate phase to Remo, making her feel fortunate to be in the relationship before describing another side that she associated with Anniyan.

She said this would then be followed by apologies, promises that the behaviour would not happen again and emotional pleas, before the cycle repeated. Anupama also recalled how quickly the relationship progressed. According to her account, she was introduced to her former partner's family after only a few dates, while discussions about an engagement began within three months.

She said she ultimately declined the proposal and asked for more time. The actress also addressed comments accusing her of being a “gold digger”, saying that she was the one who chose not to proceed with the engagement. She argued that if she had accepted the proposal despite her concerns, the relationship could potentially have ended differently.

Anupama also said the relationship affected her professional life. She pointed to Dragon, which she described as the biggest success of her career, and questioned why she did not participate in its promotions.

According to her, she had turned down several film opportunities and felt that the relationship had begun influencing not only her career decisions but other areas of her life as well.

“I started to shrink,” she said while reflecting on the effect the relationship had on her.

 

 

 

 

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Rather than presenting herself as someone who had simply moved on after a breakup, Anupama described her journey as one of gradually recognising what had happened, taking time to heal and eventually finding the courage to speak about it. She also acknowledged that people reacted differently to her earlier post.

While some believed she was healing and finding peace, others speculated about her personal life. For Anupama, however, the post represented the end of a much longer internal journey. She said she wanted to speak when she was ready, after understanding what she had experienced and reaching a point where she could talk about it openly.

The actress has not identified the person she was referring to, and her comments remain her account of the relationship and its impact on her. Her decision to speak about it now shifts the conversation away from breakup speculation and towards a broader discussion about recognising unhealthy relationship patterns, emotional wellbeing and the importance of taking time to heal.

For Anupama, the message appears to be less about revealing who the other person was and more about reclaiming her own voice after a period she says left her feeling diminished.

“I took my time to heal,” she said, reflecting on the journey that eventually gave her the confidence to speak.

Source : Times Of India , I AM with Dhanya Varma

Image Credit : Wikipedia , cineglitzz_offl